Today I read a beautifully written blog entry written by Rachel Macy Stafford at HandsFreeMama.com about not hurrying through life so much that we hurt our children (and others) and miss those special sweet and tender moments as parents. I sat with tears streaming down my face as I read it; seeing my busy, list building, task oriented nature in her words… Realizing that without purposeful intention on my part in the coming months and years, “But for the Grace of God, there go I”.
Already I have slowed down since becoming a mother, many times its because I want to, other times because I HAVE to. The best piece of advice that many people shared with me before Kaelen was born was to cherish every moment because he will grow up so quickly. I really took that to heart because so many people made it a point to say the same thing. And I truly have endeavored to take time for the little things to be significant. Yet too often I have found myself frustrated or felt utterly inadequate to conquer a small list of tasks that I would have handled in short order pre-motherhood. Rachel’s thoughtfully written words remind me that in these moments I feel those things because of what I prioritize. It really is my choice how I measure myself, whether I am choosing to be happy and content with my life. (ouch!)
The reflection above caused me to reflect on a few things that I want to carry tucked away in my heart and memory forever as my baby boy so quickly grows:
~The way I feel like I could fall into Kaelen’s eyes as he looks up at me while we nurse.
~The way he laughs hysterically at me as though I’m the funniest person ever (even when I’m not doing anything special).
~The amazement I feel as I watch him learning a new skill. Right now it’s moving his hands together with his legs to crawl. Each little thing is something to celebrate!
~Yesterday I was crying (over something irrelevant) as I picked him up, and he sensing my emotion, grabbed my shoulder, gave me a sweet kiss and then cuddled with me, as if intentionally comforting me.
~The way that Kaelen stops and checks with his Daddy to make sure that everything is all right (like when he meets someone new). If Daddy smiles then everything is right with his world.
~Kaelen has always LOVED fans and light fixtures. He will stop what he is doing to check out the lights and fixtures in any room and just delights in analyzing them. Recently he was playing on a hotel bed next to a lamp and realized he could look at the lamp from underneath the shade, or rock up and look at it from outside the shade. His curiosity and observance of things around him is incredible to watch.
~It makes my day every time I go to get Kaelen off the floor or out of his crib! When he spots me coming for him, Kaelen gets the BIGGEST smile and starts wiggling every part of his body in anticipation. In that moment I feel like the most special person in all the world that he would respond that way EVERY time.
~Watching Doug play with Kaelen… Kaelen just LOVES his Daddy! They have such a special bond. Kaelen can hear or see Daddy in the room and can’t wait to play. In fact if Kaelen is supposed to be nursing or focusing on something Doug has to “hide” and be quiet because otherwise Kaelen stops what he is doing every few moments to smile, coo, or try to play with Daddy.
These are just a few special moments, but at least if I write them down here then I can come back and be reminded of how special they are. Time to go get my little man from his crib!